Dry Clean Only
by kidavi
Summary: A ficlet for Valentine's Day... the consequences of laundry mishaps. Dante & Vergil. Rated only for a few barely bad words.


**Dry Clean Only**

**Disclaimer: **Characters belong exclusively to Capcom.

**Author's Notes:** A tad AU, maybe; takes place before DMC3. I know it's still a few weeks until Valentine's Day, but since Christmas is long over, I skipped ahead a bit to the next gift-giving holiday.

Also, if anyone here is familiar with my typical DMC fanfiction (it's all hosted on AFF), you know that humor/fluff is not my strong suit. And this might not even be humor or fluff, it's more nonsense than anything else. In any case, this is my first attempt at the genre. X3 Was fun though.

Please comment / review! And happy early V-day!

* * *

Dante had neglected his laundry again.

Feeling a stab of irritation, Vergil suppressed an exasperated sigh and reached into the dryer to shuttle his brother's clothes on their way. The first item he pulled out was a pale blue sock, and this gave him slight pause; he was fairly positive that Dante did not own any blue socks. The next article to appear was a splotchy blue shirt… one which had apparently been cream-colored a brief time ago. Vergil was frowning now, and with growing dread he continued to remove previously white items, all stained a pale cerulean. At last there was only one garment left in the dryer, and he extracted it slowly. He let the fabric unfurl in his hands, deep sapphire silk creased into permanent wrinkles, unsightly splotches scarring the rich material. Appalled, he stared in horror at the pathetic remnants of his most precious article of clothing.

"Dante… you _bastard_…"

Dante kicked off his boots and shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it carelessly over the back of the couch. The place was quiet, but that wasn't necessarily a sign of vacancy where Vergil was concerned. Wondering if his elder twin was in, he wandered down the hall toward the bedroom.

Vergil was waiting for him; he felt his brother's bony fist connect solidly with his jaw, and he fell heavily to the floor. Confused but completely uninjured, he made no move to stand, just gazed up at his brother with brows arched. Calm Vergil, collected Vergil, cool and contemplative Vergil was _raging pissed_.

Dante hadn't seen his twin this furious since Vergil had caught him hacking pumpkins with Yamato back in October. The memory made him grin, but as he stared up into his brother's smoldering silver eyes, he felt a little twinge of excitement (or was it fear?) somewhere in the vicinity of his throat.

Abruptly, Vergil shoved something blue and crumpled and silky in his face, something that looked _very_ familiar… and with a slightly guilty jolt, he realized what it was.

"Ehhh… heh…" was all Dante said, and somehow it didn't sound appropriately apologetic to him. Apparently Vergil didn't think so either, as his twin's nose was now centimeters away, piercing steel eyes boring into his face.

"This is _dry clean only_." The elder twin's voice was a dangerously low hiss as he waved the ruined garment before Dante's eyes. "Are you completely devoid of any basic human intelligence? And since when do you wash _my _clothes?"

"Aw, come on, it was an accident," Dante grinned, albeit sheepishly. "It suits you better like that anyway…"

For a second, he thought his brother would kill him; instead, Vergil heaved a loud sigh and stood up, turning to stalk down the hall with the ruined jacket still clutched tightly in his fist.

Dante sat up quickly, suddenly feeling waves of guilt wash over him. "I'll make it up to you!" he called rather desperately after Vergil's retreating back. "I swear!"

His shoulders still stiff with anger, the older twin didn't cast him so much as a backwards glance as he slammed the front door on his way out to the dumpster.

Vergil's silent treatment had been driving him crazy the past week or so, but Dante smiled and hummed a tuneless melody to himself as he set his precious package on the kitchen table. He'd never bought anyone anything for Valentine's Day before, much less his _brother_, of all people, but he had to admit that it left a distinctly satisfactory flavor in his mouth. In his untidy scrawl, he scribbled Vergil's name across the top of the box and headed for the bathroom and a hot shower. Who would have thought _shopping_ could cause so much anguish and fatigue?

Vergil was standing with his back to the door when Dante returned to the kitchen. He folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe as he watched his twin hold the new jacket up. Though he couldn't see Vergil's eyes, he knew he was taking in the patterned gold lining, the pearl vine trim, the exquisite azure silk.

After a moment, Dante coughed once to announce his presence and Vergil turned slowly to face him, his expression mask-like and unreadable. Dante felt a pang of agitation at this, and he raised his chin in question.

Vergil remained silent for a minute longer, then he finally met his brother's eyes; relieved, Dante read heartfelt gratitude in the depths of silvery-blue. He grinned widely at his brother as one corner of Vergil's mouth curled up in the hint of a smile.

"Happy V-day, V," said Dante.


End file.
